I woke up this morning in a bit of stress I must say I think it may be because last night Rajith came home very late say around 11.30pm which I am not very comfortable. Its my personal thought that no one should put others in such a position as to enter into others house this late. I really dont like his attitude but as such I couldn't express that too.
Anyway I woke up and heated up the chicken curry which i made last day unfortunately it got burned a little which was my first incident then i managed to make some rice and went to temple. in between i made tea for rajith and left to temple. It was good at temple. having said that i felt so sad inside not sure why but i was not totally happy. something was intruding inside me. I called my daughter and she said she missed the regular cab and that she reached office late so she couldn't have her breakfast., i really hate my kids missing food.
then came Prasanna complaining about the earrings which i gave her last day saying they are of no good. In actual effect there are earrings which are really good and in good condition which really pissed me off, this made me feel as if i should never give her anything. again its my feeling if somebody is giving us something its ok to say no i dont need it, but its never good to complain about what is being received, if they dont like it they can simply throw it off who is going to watch it.
then came the call of Jyothi i really hate her making comments of what others have and making money. we have absolutely no business on others life but she always grieves on others material possessions and money which i really hate listening to.
meanwhile i was constantly receiving calls of ken who is pestering me like hell. I want to work with minimal guidance i really dont understand why he is making so much of calls explaining things one after the other and making me feel so distress and annoying. oh god i really hate working for him but i need work and money which i dont know whether he will pay me or not
In between i was checking with Praveen again when he is out he behaves as if he got nothing to do with the family showing off kinda attitude. i feel so bad about his cinema drama which i really hate. Cinema is a very bad industry and i am afraid of his behavoural pattern i am sure he may end up with unwanted relationship.
Then came Rahul explain things happening in pravachambalam another place where i really lost of life. i hate being there and the people in there. all the negative thoughts and talks made me feel so bad.
My daughter called and she requested some money. i owe her money which i borrowed from her for house expense, its better to say i borrowed the money for everyone in the family for others happiness and now i am the one who needs to clear the debt and i dont have a way out. Tommy is so bad in paying me i hate asking money too.
at times i feel i just need to end my life why should i worry about others so much for myself i dont have any likes or dislikes or any wants.. i was all alone with no requests but others are killing with their wants.
